I'd like to start off by shouting from the roof-tops how grateful I am for my husband. He is the man who saves cat videos on his phone for when I'm really sad, so he can show me and I laugh uncontrollably. This isn't the only way he makes my rainy days better. He brings me little treats that he knows I like, sparing what I'm sure adds up to a pretty penny for my luxury. Yes, a soda pop from the local Maverick is a luxury for me! He lets me drive our new truck, because he knows how ridiculously excited I am about owning my first car. I'm sure it can't be easy for a man to let his wife showboat and hog an object of their pride and joy, but my husband is pretty selfless like that. These are only a few of the little things he always does, every day. He feels joy when I feel joy, sadness when I feel sadness, frustration when I'm frustrated. We feel all the feels that are to be felt, together. Bless his soul, 'cause Heaven knows I'm sensitive and have unpredictable stormy weather in the mood department. Even so, his compassion for me runs deep, yet sometimes I don't notice it.
BFFLE: Best Friends for Life & Eternity
I think many of us probably don't notice just how attuned our partners are to us. We may even find it exasperating that they aren't being stronger when we're at our weakest. While this can be somewhat of a challenge in the sense that you want to throw yourself on their shoulder and weep, but truly the fact that they are feeling what you're feeling means something very special. I'm not trying to say that all spouses should be basket cases when the other is, but we ought to recognize that they're likely suffering a bit too. Not only are they feeling sympathy, they're also truly experiencing empathy; they've closely tied their happiness to yours, heart strings and all. Sadly enough, we're not all that close.
This attunement springs from the well of friendship, the sustaining life water of your relationship. May I repeat again, friendship is the vital life water of your relationship. It is not romance, it is not communication, it is not the vague notion of "chemistry," nor is it a good sex life. All of the aforementioned hinge on the fact that you two are the best of friends. If you do not feel that you're married to your best friend - don't despair! How do we get best friends in the first place? Through trial, experience, hard work, blood, sweat, and tears. All of our best relationships are forged in fire. That being said, today is a good day to start befriending your spouse. Not only because it improves that list of things, but because it is our strongest line of defense in the face of negativity. Your friendship will safeguard your relationship when the romance isn't there and you just can't seem to get anything through their thick noggin. John Gottman's research on marriage proves this. If you doubt your muster for the task, I'd highly recommend reading The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John Gottman. This man has taken the finest nuances of a good marriage and worked them down to scientific evidence, showing us how we can protect, rescue, and improve our marriages.
Covenant Marriage
That said, I need to finish up my thoughts on contractual versus covenant marriage. We know that contractual is that 50/50 thing, so covenant must be the 100/100 thing. This is true and there's more to it. I'd like to explain covenant marriage through a video of a man sharing his remarkable insight regarding a parable of Christ's: of the Shephard versus the hireling and how each corresponds to covenant versus constractual marriage. Certainly our mind frame makes all of the difference in how we care for our marriage. Enter, Bruce C. Hafen:
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